Friday, August 25, 2017

Stranger Things revisited




We all know and love the Netflix series "Stranger Things" with its intoxicating mix of 80s synth nostalgia and hip 21st Century self-irony. For Gen Xers its a glimpse into our childhoods; the freshness of Star Wars, Atari and New Wave music. It transports us back to those darken cinemas when horror movies could still scare us without copious amounts of blood and sex. The Duffer Brothers created "The Goonies" if it were directed by "John Carpenter". But ultimately Stranger Things tells us of a time we are probably misremembering. With the uncertainty and jiggery pokery of the current presidential administration, we all long for the simpler time of what we are now thinking the 80s were. The show is set in 1983 in a small Indiana town. Our stalwart crew of 5 friends were all born in the early 1970s. That would put them around their mid-to-late forties now. Here's my guess of what happened to the Boys and El in those 30 intervening years.


Will Byers, the boy whose disappearance kicked off a phenomenon realized during high school that it wasn't Jennifer Hayes--the girl crying at his funeral--that he wanted but his best friend Mike. He suppressed his feelings during college, even joining an ultra-religious cult. He tried his hand at being a Christian minister, finally coming to turns that he was gay. He left his wife and children in Hawkins and is not the manager of a graphic design business living with his 28 year-old Honduran boyfriend named Javier in Riverside, CA.


Mike Wheeler, the leader of the group, remained friends with the Boys until attended Notre Dame where he majored in accounting. He briefly lived in Chicago with El but had to return to Indiana when his father died of a massive heart attack. Eleven kept going back to the Upside Down so he ended up marrying Jennifer Hayes--the girl crying at Will's funeral--before they moved to Arizona and buying a lawn care/ beauty salon business in strip mall in Scottsdale. They named their oldest daughter, Twelve.


Lucas Sinclair, the brains and soul of the group graduated Hawkins High School, where he became class president, before going to Northwestern University where he majored in journalism and communication. After college he briefly came back to Hawkins where he ran as a Republican for the Indiana state senate. He languished on the back bench for a few years when he realized he was too ambitious for a small Midwestern town. He left Indiana and now owns a media company and frequently appears on cable news as a Never Trumper GOP strategist. He lives in Dallas with his wife who is a local newscaster.



Dustin Henderson, the funniest member of the group, never really hit his "stride" or at least that what he tells people where he works. He is the co-owner of a comic books store/ coffee house. He still lives in the same house he grew up in. He emails Lucas, Mike and Will regularly but they rarely email him back. He's the only one who is still in contact with El and he tries to go see Mr. Clarke at the SpringCare Nursing home but sometimes his 1997 Toyota Corolla breaks-down. Every Friday night he hosts a classic Sci-Fi party at the Hawkins Cinema.


Eleven finally found her birth mother in the neighboring town. Their relationship was turbulent and thankfully short. Plus her aunt kept wanting El to give her money for cigarettes and drugs. She lived with Mike for a while when he was in Chicago but she could never adjust to normalcy. She joined the Peace Corp and travelled the world helping people. The last anyone heard of her she had invited a sustainable sweet potato--the proceeds from which she bought stock in Kellogg.


Nancy Wheeler, Mike's precocious sister, left Hawkins and never looked back. She attended NYU--along with Jonathan Byers. They hooked up once after a drunken party at friend's apartment on St. Mark's but nothing came of it. She went to graduate school in Boston where she studied Political Science. She interned in the Clinton White House. She kept telling Monica Lewinsky, "Don't get caught with the monster, Barb." but the intern just looked at her with distain. Afterward she went to work in various organizations until she was tapped to run the New York Office of Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential campaign. She and Steve Harrington still see each other whenever they have time.


Jonathan Byers
, Will's brother, got his lifelong wish and attended NYU and studied photography. He never went back to Indiana to live. In 2016 he won a Pulitzer Prize for his coffee table book entitled "Hillbilly Hawkins: A Town and Country in Crisis". The book was about the poor downtrodden white families of Hawkins that had succumbed to drugs when the government shuttered Hawkins National Laboratory.



Steven Harrington went to the University of Indiana on a lacrosse scholarship. He flunked out and ended up going to East Indiana State where he became a computer programmer. He met his future wife there and they both moved to Indianapolis and started a company that helped corporation protect their data from cyber-attacks. He was fired after one of his major clients, the DNC, was hacked in 2016. His son Kenny, who doesn't talk a lot, also attended East Indie with a kid named Axl Heck.


Joyce Byers remained in Hawkins. She went on to manage Melvin's General Store when Donald got too old. There were always rumors that she and Hop had an affair but she and the guy who ran the local Hawkins Radio Shack ended up in a common law marriage. She quietly tells friends that Will "turned gay" after the tragic events of that week in November, 1983.


Karen Wheeler, Mike's mom was devastated after her husband died of a massive heart attack. She didn't love him but who else was going to take care of her and her young daughter. To get her mind off things she went on a cruise where she met a former Indianapolis Colt running back who owned a string of car dealerships across the Midwest. They were married before the cruise was over and she moved with him to a mansion in Indianapolis. Her daughter Holly, grew up and is the communications director of a mega-church near Cleveland and spends all her time spreading the word of God and trolling liberals with pro-Trump propaganda on social media.



Chief Hopper stayed on as the local sheriff. He successfully kept the town safe. He never seemed to find love and went through years of unsuccessful relationships with a succession of librarians. He finally retired from the force and pretty much stays in his trailer. He's sometimes seen in town where people whisper that he sits in front of his TV watching Fox News and screaming about the Deep State. They say he refuses to use any electronic devices.


Tommy H got Carol pregnant. They moved into the trailer park off Mirkwood and had a stormy relationship. They appeared on one of the earliest episodes of Maury for a paternity test. Tommy got caught selling cocaine and went to prison. He was killed in a mysterious hit a run by 3 guys in a van--one of them was identified as looking like Tom Hanks' son. Carol works at the lunch lady as Hawkins High. The kids love it when she comes to work drunk and curses them all out. They post pics of her all the time on Snapchat.



Friday, August 18, 2017

What if hate was on the other foot?

Let's have a thought experiment, shall we? I want you to sit back. Close your eyes. Now picture a beautiful southern city, like, Charlotte. Now imagine if you will a warm summer evening. Now in a part of Charlotte I want you to pretend you see an old decrepit building.  The building is at least 100 years old and it has Arabic writing on the side of it. It has four towers. I'm sure you are picturing a mosque. That's good.

Now imagine this mosque has been dedicated to radical Islamic teachings. The adherents of the teachings of this mosque carried out all sorts of atrocities on Americans for decades. Murders, beheadings, lynchings. All sorts of horrible things. Now, if you can, imagine that the city council of Charlotte has decided to demolish this mosque and build a park in the name of peace in its place. So one Friday night a few young people go to this mosque to hold up signs that read "Love over Hate" and "Tear down this symbol of hate". A short distance from this mosque is a church filled with people holding an interfaith service. Now see a couple hundred Radical Jihadist start marching down the streets of Charlotte carrying torches. Picture in your mind those Jihadist surrounding the church. Chanting "Death to America" and "Die Infidel Die". Image them attack the small number of peaceful demonstrators sending one man to the hospital in critical condition from being punched in the throat by a torch. The man later suffers a stroke because of the severity of his injuries.

Imagine the next day, these Jihadist--who have decided to go by the term Alt-Religious--have a "legal permit" to show up at the mosque to protest its removal. They arrive bearing symbols of hate. They carry weapons. They bring with them riot gear like shields, helmets and batons. Now think for a moment a group of anti-terrorist protesters show up. They too are angry. They claim the Jihadist have no place in America. So a few fights break out. Soon the Jihadist start beating people with their bats. A young man suffers a broken hand and has to get multiple-stitches in his head. The Jihadist grow more violent and start throwing bottles filled with urine and full cans of soda at the anti-terrrorist protesters. The Jihadist target the Christians ministers who have shown up in solidarity with the anti-terrorist protesters.

As the tension mounts a 20 year-old radicalized Jihadist jumps in his car and plows into a crowd of anti-terrorist protesters. Bloodied and broken bodies fly everywhere. In the aftermath of the attack, one young woman is dead, 19 injured and 5 remain in the hospital with critical injuries. The country is shocked by the level of violence. People want answers. How can these violent Jihadist, who have a history of abhorrent attacks on Americans, be allowed to behave in such a reprehensible manner. We all love to exercise our free speech rights but these Jihadist encourage violence and have shown no remorse over the death of the young woman killed in the terror attack. Actually these Jihadist are vocal with their praise of the murder and even send the murdered woman's mother death threats.

Now imagine the president of the United States holding a press conference. Now imagine during that press conference the president of the United States says the following:

"I watched those much more closely than you people watched it, and you had a group on one side that was bad and you had a group on the other side that was also very violent."

"What about the anti-terrorist protesters that came charging at, as you say, the Alt-Religious, do they have any semblance of guilt? What about the fact that they have charging with clubs in their hands, swinging clubs. Do they have any problem? I think they do."

"I own a house in Charlotte, does anyone know I own a house in Charlotte? It’s in Charlotte, you’ll see. It is the winery. I mean I know a lot about Charlotte."

"George Washington was very religious. Was George a religious person? So will George Washington now lose his status? Are we going to take down statues to George Washington? How about Thomas Jefferson?"

Then he goes on twitter and calls the removal of the mosque "foolish". He says, "Sad to see the history and culture of our great country being ripped apart with the removal of our beautiful statues and mosques."

How would that make you feel as an American? Now you can open your eyes. Rerun that story in your mind and replace Jihadist with White Supremacist and tell me if you would feel the same way.